Back to Work/School

Well life never ceases to amaze me,throwing trials & tribulations that have now turned into some good oportunity's pour moi.I have a good chance at getting the CBR job i applied for 2 months ago now,and i am just waiting to hear from a couple of folks before i send off my referrals...This is where i make,or break,this job.I would like to get Dr Sandre,but i am not sure if he would do it.I haven't treated him good at all.Back when i was useing i even grabbed & threatened him.He still took me back for a patient!This guy has saved many lives,& although i do not agree with him on certain pot issue's,i think he is a good man.A good referral from him would almost certainly make the position mine...I would love to be working again,& doing this would not be like a job for me...as i like doing this type of work...this would make me feel like a contributeing member of society once again!THANK-GOD!!!He works in such wonderous ways!Just for today i am so very gratefull that i am clean,and getting closer to serene with each & every day that passes.My fear of death is slowly leaving as well...a good thing when your HIV+!Living with this disease is not always easy!Its other peoples reactions that are the hardest part to deal with-so,if you can get past that,then it should get much better for you in telling you story....

Breaking your silence & telling others of your thoughts & feelings can be such a relief!~Stress's & stressor's start to come down,although at times it can get much worse before it starts to get much better...maybe it has to do with how far youve gone downhill?Making the climb back up all the harder!Bring it on!GOD i thank YOU so very much!Life is getting even better now....and i can live with that.Peace n love not wars n walls eh folks!!!

Back to Work/School

Well life never ceases to amaze me,throwing trials & tribulations that have now turned into some good oportunity's pour moi.I have a good chance at getting the CBR job i applied for 2 months ago now,and i am just waiting to hear from a couple of folks before i send off my referrals...This is where i make,or break,this job.I would like to get Dr Sandre,but i am not sure if he would do it.I haven't treated him good at all.Back when i was useing i even grabbed & threatened him.He still took me back for a patient!This guy has saved many lives,& although i do not agree with him on certain pot issue's,i think he is a good man.A good referral from him would almost certainly make the position mine...I would love to be working again,& doing this would not be like a job for me...as i like doing this type of work...this would make me feel like a contributeing member of society once again!THANK-GOD!!!He works in such wonderous ways!Just for today i am so very gratefull that i am clean,and getting closer to serene with each & every day that passes.My fear of death is slowly leaving as well...a good thing when your HIV+!Living with this disease is not always easy!Its other peoples reactions that are the hardest part to deal with-so,if you can get past that,then it should get much better for you in telling you story....

Breaking your silence & telling others of your thoughts & feelings can be such a relief!~Stress's & stressor's start to come down,although at times it can get much worse before it starts to get much better...maybe it has to do with how far youve gone downhill?Making the climb back up all the harder!Bring it on!GOD i thank YOU so very much!Life is getting even better now....and i can live with that.Peace n love not wars n walls eh folks!!!

No Job Fo Joe,Permenent Place For HIV-AIDs Gatherings

So ya i didn't get the job i applied for in Toronto but that does not surprise me,as i knew i had blown my interview with the transportation question...like how was i supposed to get back n forth...bus or hitch a ride doesn't sound solid enough or something that you can afford to count on.That's really too bad as i was really hoping to get this position.Guess it was not meant to be after all right folks...the other position i applied for i haven't heard anything back so That's a right off as well.Dam,getting back into the workforce is alot harder then i thought.Well looks like its back to school for this guy....

Now that i am Little down i may as well talk about the HIV-AIDs Candle light Memorial.We do not have any place here in sudbury to hold these each yr. and so its always a dif place.I am hoping to get 1 created here in sudsbury so we can have a place to hold this event each yr. & to write down the names of all the peoples that have died in sudbury from HIV-AIDs & related causes such as cancer.A giant red ribbon perhaps...not sure but we should have a place like this along time ago now.Access Aids Sudbury should have its own building & not be paying rent for yrs.Better to be paying for a Morgage then to just be paying rent.I wish i could do the same...hard to get anything done though when your alone.I guess i am just going to try going back and doing some upgrading for now...a busy guy is a healthy guy...k well i hope you all have a great summer.Its been an other cool 1 this yr here in sudbury.Peace n love not wars n walls eh folks!!!

CAHR Conference in VANCOUVER Here I Come!!!

So yes i am going to this conf to co-facilitate the HIV Research Cafe that is going to be held at some point during this conf. from April 22 to 26 return the 29!I cannot wait as this will be a very exciting trip for me as i havent been out to BC this will def be an adventure to remember for sure!!!The Recent leadership alumni gathering was also a great success & i am very greatfull to Thomas Egdorf & the Ont Aids Network for this chance to attend & be apart of a great gathering of like minded peoples trying to effect positive change here in Canada!!!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLKS!!!

We Are Spiritual Being's on a Human Journey Not Human being's on a spiritual Journey!!!

So the recent leadership Alumni conf was held & was another great success.This is offset by the fact that i did NOT get the scholership to attend Vancouver to help co-facilitate a HIV Research Cafe..having facilitated 3 now i have a better understanding of the concept & why shelly finds it so importent to bring this to more peoples & places.So i am going to facilitator 3 this weekend which will leave me only 1 session left to go before having completed all training offered by the OAN.As i tried to do my best in promoting this little tidbit of info that happens to be so very true,as i found this out inside after being touched by the spirit.No words can describe the overwhelming love,compassion & peace that overwhelmed me that day while waiting to be transfered back to the range.The fact that we are indeed spiritual beings popped into my head & i have been saying this fact for awhile now.Well i bid u all a great day & a good night GODBLESS Folks!!!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLKS!!! JAMES JC GOUGH

HIV-AIDs Front Lines of Attack!!!

Great we are now starting another front line of attack against HIV-AIDS!!!

Economy Stressing Many-Overwhelming Kids =20/20 Review By James JC Gough

I watched 20/20 tonight & it had a bunch of high-school kids that posted a video called R U Listening on You-Tube.Turnes out the president was listening & stepped in to help...Wow i think...but what about all the dyeing kids over in Africa each & every hour,second-YES SECOND's!UNIVERSAL TESTING & TREATMENT MUST BE INIATED ASAP!!!

As i leave for T.O. next week i will be very busy the whole time down there.I started my presnttation all over again from scratch only to have it all disappear on me!I hate that when that happens(more then a few times now) i am guesing i will finally have to take a course after all if i ever want to truly master these machines...well folks peace love & happiness to you all,& have a great day eh!

,HIV Support Group Sudbury is Morphing Into a Social Group

So ya as allot of PHA's are more stable the support group is no longer needed-no PHA's attending is the reason for the upcoming changes.I think a skill's building & social group would be more productive & helpfull to PHA's living here in Northern Ont.Too bad we don't have the services that Toronto has for HIV+ folks...someday maybe...So Opening Door's is gone for another yr.This yr we received allot of information on medical pot-Its just too bad that the ONLY specialist we have does not believe in prescribing pot for persons with HIV-AIDs.Maybe 1 day we can get that fixed & PHA's living in the north wont have to suffer needlessly.Well the Leadership Alumni Meeting is coming up next week & i will be presenting on saturday afternoon for the first time!I call it "Creating New Front Lines of Attack on HIV-AIDs Blogs,Vlogs & Video's 2!``it`s aimed at PLWHA`s to get them to break their silence & to start talking about HIV-AIDs,creating websites & web pages will bring more education & awareness to the www.I think this is a medium that is under-used by PHA`s & more monies should be added to keep educating folks on HIV issues & concerns.As for myself i would personally like to Thank one THOMAS EGDORF for his wonderful dream & i hope his program takes off & goes National as it is a great way to encourage & empower PHA`s...The trouble is when we get back to our cities & try to engage our ASO`s many times we face rejection & ridicule...but we must not let that get us depressed or down.If we keep our trust in GOD & Jesus Christ then we have nothing to worry about do we...well it was a great ride support groûp suds & i would also like to thank those that joined this site...this will remain here for PHA`s to add blogs or pictures or just to VENT Little=its cool & its welcomed eh!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLK'S!

,HIV Support Group Sudbury is Morphing Into a Social Group

So ya as allot of PHA's are more stable the support group is no longer needed-no PHA's attending is the reason for the upcoming changes.I think a skill's building & social group would be more productive & helpfull to PHA's living here in Northern Ont.Too bad we don't have the services that Toronto has for HIV+ folks...someday maybe...So Opening Door's is gone for another yr.This yr we received allot of information on medical pot-Its just too bad that the ONLY specialist we have does not believe in prescribing pot for persons with HIV-AIDs.Maybe 1 day we can get that fixed & PHA's living in the north wont have to suffer needlessly.Well the Leadership Alumni Meeting is coming up next week & i will be presenting on saturday afternoon for the first time!I call it "Creating New Front Lines of Attack on HIV-AIDs Blogs,Vlogs & Video's 2!``it`s aimed at PLWHA`s to get them to break their silence & to start talking about HIV-AIDs,creating websites & web pages will bring more education & awareness to the www.I think this is a medium that is under-used by PHA`s & more monies should be added to keep educating folks on HIV issues & concerns.As for myself i would personally like to Thank one THOMAS EGDORF for his wonderful dream & i hope his program takes off & goes National as it is a great way to encourage & empower PHA`s...The trouble is when we get back to our cities & try to engage our ASO`s many times we face rejection & ridicule...but we must not let that get us depressed or down.If we keep our trust in GOD & Jesus Christ then we have nothing to worry about do we...well it was a great ride support groûp suds & i would also like to thank those that joined this site...this will remain here for PHA`s to add blogs or pictures or just to VENT Little=its cool & its welcomed eh!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLK'S!

Leadership Training a Must For PHA's in Ont.

LEADERSHIP TRAINING A MUST FOR PHA'S In ONTARIO!!!I am now 5 yrs clean from coke.heroin&speed...i do admit to eating & vaporizing weed though as it helps alot with the HIV & program,first dreamt & started -up by Thomas Egdorf,has been a major factor in my keeping clean for this length of time.if 10 yrs ago someone would have told me that my peer mentors & chosen hero`s would be gay,i woulda said u were crazy!Its true though.I have met some of the most amazing warrior`s,each one special & unique,but all sharing the same bond-HIV-AID`s.This program teaches you tools to deal with situations & events in life,& i highly recommend this program to all peoples that are HIV+ & live in the Ontario region(hopefully this will go nation wide)& more PHA`s will become empowered to create the changes we need to happen in our ASO`s...Who better to help those with HIV then those that live with it...its time the GIPA Principles were followed here in Ont.Break the silence & join the leadership program toay!It may save your life too!james jc gough,PHA HIV-AIDs education & awareness speaker for access aids sudbury.

Today is a Historic Day-Restored Hope For The World

Today the USA restored hope world-wide.Not only US peoples were watching the swearing in ceremony(of which 2 million folks were present)The rest of the planet watched as well.Records were broken today...with the amount of folks attending the swearing in ceremony & the amount of folks watching-records are sure to be set.This is indeed an exciting time to be alive regardless of race,colour or creed...what Obama has shown us is that anything is indeed possible & that if you work hard enough you will succeed.My thanks to the Ont Aids Network-one Thomas Egdorf Warrior extraordinaire & Steve darn forgot his last name ...sorry steve i am not good with names as u can see!!!Well folks,i thank U all,& pray that PEACE,LOVE & HAPPINESS OVERCOME EACH & EVERYONE OF YOU THAT READS THIS BLOG!

In Aknowledging Death We Affirm Life-Musing's of a Recovering Addict

So as a PLWHA that has lost many family & friends in his life's journey,i have recently been invited to attend a workshop on multiple death-coping with loss & the grieveing process.This is something that i have alot of personal experience in,as i have lost my dad,brother,grampa,daughter,mother,aunt & too many friends,ex girlfriends to OD's,various diseases-cancer & aids being the main ones.I am sure i will learn about the dyeing process the more i live.So many folks have been killed in the name of GOD-religeous persicution =inquisition.Man has now devised ways to kill off whole cities of men,or to drop a bomb down the chimney of a building.Man's inhumanity to his fellow man never ceases to amaze & sicken me.Africans killing africans because they are from a differing tribe-genocide.The list is endless really... religeon teach PEACE & LOVE &FORGIVENESS?Than Y all this WAR?Isreal is attacking UN positions at the time of this writing...now missles from lebenon fall upon that country...opening a 2 front.R the Isreali's going to invade their too?I doubt it.They have an army to defend themselves.NOT that they prob wouldnt win.After all R not the Isreali's GOD's people?Except when they were to be taught a lesson,then GOD would have a foriegn army overtake & enslave the peoples!So many peoples have been killed in the name of GOD.Has GOD asked for this>?I highly doubt it.Peace n love is what we are supposed to be liveing & preaching & practicing isn't it?I mean if we R christians or muslims true to our faith-PEACE & LOVE should be what we wage-not wars n walls! PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLKS!!!

Trying to Live Positively in a Negative World-

So ya it isn't easy being positive in a negative world these day's especially around the holiday season,as this is the time for family & friends to join each other in celebration of our Lord's birth.At least this is the premise,as i think christmas has lost its true meaning & has become far too comercial.As my folks are both deceased,along with a brothr & daughter my holidays have turned into nothing but misory for me as i stay by myself alone in my apt.Losing wieght isn't a problem for me as long as i smoke pot.Being HIV+ is hard enough,throw in addiction problems & a few others n well its no wonder i am single & alone.I have this woman jenifer taylor in my mind & i cannot escape her!She is so beautifull,breathtakingly so pretty i can now see Y angels would want to mate with human females.Of course she doesn't know i exist,isn't that the way of things eh?I am far too nervous to contact her,or talk to her,I am sure yu all know the feeling U get in your stomack when U R in love & U get close to that person?Ya u want to upchuk right?Well i look at her pics & it seems like she is looking right at me,& no one else!I know this isn't so,though,& theres not much of a chance of me ever getting a woman of her beauty,but its still nice to dream eh!k folks i will sign off now,& wish everyone a safe & prosperous new year filled with PEACE,LOVE & HAPPINESS!!!

Harper Stalls-Snow Falls-Tough Times Getting Worse

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!So ya all Mr Harper has done is run & hide,closing the Gov. during economic hardships!His failure to act should cost him,but,i fear canadians are gluttons for punishment & are sadomachisdic & must love to suffer!Why else would the majority of them Elect this asshole to start with?He has brought all of this upon hiself when he tried to cut funding for all parties!His failed policies must be reversed-giving giant OIL Co 50 billion in TAX breaks is a mistake!I wonder if he will EVER have to worry aboot money ever again eh folks?I highly doubt it after that fiasco!This should be investigated as well!!!While Obama is trying to restore faith & hope in his country our's is taking paid holidays while the rest of canada slowly grinds to a halt!GOD HELP US ALL!!!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLKS!!!

Micro-chipping HIV+ Patient's Dangerous

Micro chipping HIV+ patients in ANY country is a dangerous !!If goverments start doing this,WHO will want to be tested for HIV-AIDs?This can & will set the whole movement back 20 yrs.We have made huge strides in finding meds to fight the hiv virus.Sure we still have a very long way to go,but,we must keep our faith strong & our hope alive,Trust in GOD & we will survive & thrive!Being HIV+ myself,not only is this AGAINST my religeon & beliefs,(666=number of the beast hand or forhead)but i believe this is setting a dangerous precedent.We MUST NOT allow micro-chipping of anyone,let alone those suffering from HIV-Aids.Where is the compassion here?Empathy?Peoples living with hiv are our sisters & brothers,fathers,mothers,aunts & uncles,grandpa's & grandma's!Will we wage WAR on them just because they smoke weed to help stop the nasea,vomiting,pain & generally make life alot easier to live with HIV-AIDs.PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS N WALLS EH FOLS!!!

Letter to HALCO,by james jc gough

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!Well cops told me they got a tip that I was back into dealing LBS of pot!So they were disapointed when all they found was a 1/2oz of some "homegrown" & 7 g of roaches!!!!They informed me that if this was all they would find,that I would get released on a form 19,promise to appear.They didn’t find anything else but,as I am on probation I had to spend the night anyways.Made baill on a 1,200 no deposit the next morning .I left a message to my probation officer explaining what had happened & to call me back if he wanted to see me,no call so far.Nways I was wondering if yous would know of a GREAT lawyer around these here parts to represent me in the court of LAW!My first appearance in on the 10 of sept at 1;30

.I am HIV+ & I am a recovering coke,heroin & speed addict CLEAN now 4 yrs!This pot helps me to eat,stems my nasea in the mornings & helps me sleep at night! I lost my dad in 77 brother in 88 ,charged with murder 2 in 96 & aquitted in 98,I was 2 wks at detox when I got a call from my daughter Cory,she was in hosp.&wanted me with her.She was dyeing of HPV,& wouldn’t live much longer.I spent that whole summer going back n forth from detox to the hosp.I told myself ,if I could make it through this clean,I could make it through anything,& am still clean from the hard shit today!My daughter had to smoke weed to help stem the nasea from the chemo & radiation & we often smoked together.She passed away at home aug 5.When my mom passed away from a brain tumor last feb. I felt the trigger but fought it off.death has always been my trigger but after my kid died I overcame that habit.I have spent the last few yrs trying to develop my skills by attending Leadership Training 1 & 2 facilitater training attended a few conferences & have met many great folks along the way.I am on the speakers bureu & have done talks about HIV harm reduction safe sex condom promotion & STD testing at local collesges & universitys,group homes,churches,action centres & anywhere asked to really!I am trying to push for a compasion club in this city as we also have the cancer centre located here as well.The 1 HIV specialist in sudbury is a born again christian=great!but,he doesn’t prescribe narcotics like weed!I was also diagnosed with epilepsy wen I was 15.I stopped all the zombie pills a few yrs ago & just stuck with the green.My seizures stopped & I am now free more then 4 yrs!(woot!woot!)I would LOVE to take this to the supreme court,I am on disability pension,& need a lawyer with gonads of steel!!!I a person that knows their stuff as well!My hep-c has also been cured so I am no longer eligible for any funds from the hep-c payout.Shitty buzz!But I am healthy otherwise,& last week applied for a research assitent position,involving travel & PLWHA interviews.The reason I am on probation is that I received a 27,000 check in my name,took it to the bank manager & asked him to run a check on this cheque,he told me to sign it & he would start the process,so I did!(mistake!)2 months afterwards I was arrested & charged with fraud & uttering a forged doc.After spending a week in jail I made bail & the result was 2 yrs probation& 200 community hours.I have 5 hours left & 1 yr 3 months to go on the probation.I hope this is enough of a history that maybe you folks at halco could take a bite out of crime,& stop this continued INJUSTICE that we PLWHA face in society!I willl be waiting your reply,GODBLESS & have a great day eh!sincerely james j c gough,sudbury ont canada

OAN CHECK IS SLOW IN COMIN BACK TO ME!

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!So ya i have been waiting for this replacement check from the OAN for over a month now & it has yet to make it here into my hands,mailed last month,it has yet to arrive in my mail-box.sad but true enough maybe they R makin an example outta me in case others lose their minds as well!I ama forgettin so many dif things these days!Lost my keys 2 last month!My friend dave has bought a house,small isn't the right word but it sure is cosy!Its his first home & its under a hundred thou so WTF eh?Nways the summer BBQ for PHA's is coming up this week.Its seems its always getting smaller n smaller aswe lose more n more of our fellow PHA warrior's to disease drugs & suicides.Only too late did i come to accept myself for who n wat i am.just a human like the rest,cept that i am poz,k later folks!!!peace n love not wars n walls eh folks!!!

Just `For Today,Single & looking!

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!Somewheres out here in this big place there is a woman thats for me.But where?Y i am still single & living alone is not surprising,as i dont really go out that much & dont have alot of friends comin over.HIV sucks anyways u slice it.Pain is something u have to learn to live with,take it dry,swollow it whole!Sucks but its true enough !Labeled an addict & u will never get meds unless u r at deaths doorway and not before!I have seen a couple of peoples i cared about die from this disease & i can tell u it makes me afraid,as i am poz as well at this time i am in great health & i thank GOD each n everyday,many times a day!Always trying to bless your food can be tough!Peer pressure can add on stress that u dont need!So dont give into it!wear condoms peoples safe sex saves lives so save a life todsay the life you save could be yiour own if your smart n use a condom!PEACE N LOVE NOT WARS `N WALLS EH FOLKS!!!

Back Online -Went to Mom & Dad's Grave Sites Today

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!Ya so james helped me bring abunch of white rocks so i could make a cross & outline at the 2 differing sites.I miss her alot & wish death wasnt apart of life.GOD made it this way for a REASON & who am i to Question GOD & his wisdom?I hope & pray that His Will be done & not Man's as i know GOD truly loves & wantsd the best for all of us.I wish i could be less of a sinner & more rightous in his eyes(GOD).I know he must have something in plan for me.He is mercifull & great is the Lord our GOD!Only what side is he on?who is right & who is wrong?Its not an easy tag .Good VS evil ,black n white,only it isnt that cut & dried is it?We can all drift to one or the other catagory depending on how we r feeling at any given time.Too long has the BUSH idealology of NO talkin with terrorists been allowed to foster.It is not too late to stop all this insanity but we must move faster!The Isreali's must give Plalestine back its land & stop the misory it has allowed to go on & on.UN resolutions R NOT being followed & can only lead to more bloodshed.The European's have imported millions of Muslim peoples & it is the leading religeon in the Union(EU) now who is to say tha the catholic R right & muslim R wrong?I am not judge nor will i start & only pray that allah,GOD's will be done & not mankinds. I only know that it is going to get worse before it gets better!GOD i hope i can live my dream,meet a beautifull woman & get married as soon as i can!~any single females out there that want to marry a HIV+ Canadian guy?havce a great day folks,GODBLESS U ALL with PEACE,HAPPINESS & LOVE!!!!

MOM GONE -Missing Her & Feel So Alone,Y Can't i Find a Partner?

Live,Learn,Love&Laugh-Man has learned to swim like a fish,fly like a bird,if only he could learn to walk like a man,then this earth would truly be a paradise!What goes around,comes around,So be nice and laugh alot!Hard to laugh when life has been so cruel & cold,with death around so much that i have now become afraid to know peoples as dont want to feel the hurt & loss anymore.But then if i hadnt gone through a;ll this i wouldnt be who i am today,I PHA WARRIOR-LEGAL WEED ADVOCATE-CONDOM PROMOTING -SAFE SEX TOTING-SPEAKER -STORY TELLER-& SINGLE & LOOKING-COME & SAVE ME~~~~